Protection mode

When you're always on guard, preparing for the worst, and just waiting to be disappointed... I call that protection mode. I think in a way, you're setting yourself up for failure... but at the same time, it's a hard habit to break. When you're so use to having to protect yourself, always waiting for the worst to happen, or getting your hopes up just to be let down.. you start putting yourself in protection mode. You don't recognize something good because you're so use to something bad. It's like, you feel like you're being set up and just thinking no way it's real. So you don't even know what to do with it. I hear people talk about being numb to things... I almost wish that was the case for me. Instead I feel everything, but am constantly in protection mode, Always guarding those feelings.